opening diary entry: 12th November 2010

Back to Nature. Shoreham called to me!

There wasn't much left!

My two nephews were grown up and there was just my sis n me. I was born sexually neuter so I never had my own kids. I love my sis, but naturally not as a lover. And there was never anyone else. I don't have the anatomy, the hormones or the mindset. The nephs were the way out, the way forward. I became a foster father. I did a good job I guess. But it had to come to an end.

That's when it hit home. I was still Edward Scissorhands. I was back in a society that felt the need to beat me down when they knew about me. Running up Buck Palace Road, hit by three cars wasn't the answer.

I couldn't even die, just bruised.... inside and out! So it was a long road of ridicule and abuse ahead.

I thought I might just get it over quickly. Where better for the nation's only natural Ken doll than a nudist beach, where the ugly truth would be venomously punished by a lynch mob.

I chose Shoreham Beach. Why not Brighton? Fate I guess! I stepped out like a lamb in a wolfpack. A neutered lamb too, not even breeding stock, only good for the food chain. I walked, waited.... nothing! Well, ok, not strictly true! The beach is twice the length of Brighton Nudist Beach, but it took me an hour to reach the far end. Beaten up? .......No!

I wasn't ready for this. One by one, the basking nudists, cast against the stormwall soaking up the suntrap, engaged me, not in abuse, but in chat. I'm different, so very different, but nobody mentioned it. To them the hot weather in April was a far bigger surprise. Where was I from, had I been here before, they didn't recognise me! Well you would think they should if they knew me? A mixed crowd, single guys, several couples or groups of naked sexagenarians, one or two families, even with kids.

The kids would give me hell, right? Hell, no! I was tempted to ask, "Can't you people see, I'm different, disabled, inadequate?" But I couldn't. I couldn't ruin their day by embarrassing them. Maybe they didn't notice! Blind, dazzled by the sun?

No it wasn't that at all. It was something I had never imagined in my life before, something I had never experienced out there in mainstream Babylon society, with its sexual obsessions and its penis elitism. These people, these naturists, were treating me as just another guy on the beach. .......which I was!

Yes, I was no different, because we all had something in common. We were all naked on a beach. And I am still no different, because I never left Shoreham Beach. That beach came with me everywhere. It accompanied me to Abbey House Gardens, on the World Naked Bike Rides, to Studland, Holkham, on the TV in the Great British Body. It danced with me at Starkers and Nudity, the naked discos.

Ultimately it helped me find my Eden, the club that finally accepted, no, adopted me as a member, my Heaven on earth at the Naturist Foundation. I am finally alive.

Now I rarely visit its home on the south coast. But we are never far apart. Shoreham follows me everywhere, because I am just another guy on its beach!

Join me sometime and you will hear its waves rolling intimately in the background!